Case Closed
A shot rang out, and then another, and then what sounded like a machine gun rattled the calm atmosphere. This was followed by, what I could of sworn were, grenade explosions. Even though this was all happening quite a bit behind schedule, all my guests were still just as thrilled. That was a relief. I was worried that the murder would never begin.
This would be my “Going Away Party/Feeling Twenty Two/Sweet Sixteen Murder Mystery Extravaganza.” I originally had planned for this party to be done on my sixteenth birthday all the way back in 2008, but in a very sixteen year old fashion I fell victim to a moody attitude and canceled the whole affair. It wasn’t until this year that I actually found the kit I had paid 200 whole American dollars for and decided to finally bring this party and all of it’s wacky characters to life.
Who could forget such classic personalities, like country singer Shania Vain, high class escort Ginger Heart, or “Miss Hawaiian Tropics 1993”; Sushi Teriyaki. Did I mention this game was pretty racist? Getting the party all put together was kind of like opening a time capsule from 6 years ago, which was apparently a time when naming people of color after your favorite “exotic” lunch was pretty hilarious.
All food based racism aside, I put a lot of work into getting 25 of my closet friends together. I was relentless with my Facebook messages. I even left voicemails for some people. I was that desperate. After several locations and dates falling though, I had finally secured a date, location, and guest list. All that was left was to wait for everyone to show up….and it was actually quite the wait. I had told everyone 7 o'clock because I knew that people would show up at their leisure, but it was kind of surprising that literally no one showed up until 8. Bless their hearts.
The next few hours were spent just watching my beautiful friends slowly file into the house one by one, wearing ridiculous outfits and even more ridiculous accents (The Scottish accents were definitely a highlight.) The last few guest were running extra late, not arriving until 10:30, but this allowed me time to stop hosting for a minute and just take in the surroundings. I saw so many friends, from so many social circles and different periods of my life come together to see me off. It was so validating to see the people I wanted to spend my last moments in America with, come because they wanted to spend those moments with me too. I would of cried, but I’m a tough guy.
After all was said and done, the Safari dude was the killer. Hardly anyone figured it out, because individually trying to dissect the stories of 25 people, was pretty much impossible in no small part thanks to our awesome punch (the secret is really cheap wine.) However, no one really cared about whether or not they cracked the case, because we were all too busy smiling and laughing and hugging and happy crying. Plus I had hella cute hair extensions. It was pretty much perfect.
I had dreaded leaving so much because I’m so happy with my life now, and I didn’t want to change anything about it. I didn’t want the people that I hold so dearly to move on without me…I know now, that I mean just as much to these people as they do to me. We have had unimaginable fun together and we have comforted each other when we needed it most. We love each other. I don’t doubt that for a second.
After the main event ended and the party transitioned into a drink and chat, one of my friends that I had only gotten close to this past year, came to me and said “Wolfgang, you have like really cool friends.” All I could do was proudly smile and agree. “I do have really cool friends. They’re the best.”